Lent: Sometimes You're Just Lying There Like a Slug In the Desert

I don't think I'm the only one who hasn't been having a very good Lent this year.  By which I mean I haven't been having a very bad Lent.  I mean, it hasn't been hard; I haven't been taking full advantage of the opportunities this liturgical season offers in terms of increased prayer, fasting and alms-giving.

As a matter of routine I put away the little espresso maker, which is a source of great joy in our house, omitted the sugar in my tea, nixed the sweet treats.  So, Lent feels a little like going on a diet.  But the more important treasures of spiritual growth are a bit lacking for me this time around.  I haven't availed myself of weekday mass or Stations of the Cross at my parish.  I haven't managed to add to my meager devotions nor been challenged by sacrificial giving.  It's hard to feel the pinch with electronic giving.  In a word, this Lent, I am pathetic.

It's like I'm in the desert, but I'm just lying there waiting.  Waiting to be dragged out at Easter.

I feel bad about this state of things.  I feel bad about just lying there.  When Our Lord was in the desert, He was fielding temptations from the devil himself!  He didn't eat anything!  His desert was an actual desert - in was hot and bleak!  He was preparing for His mission to redeem the whole world!

But then, He is God the Son, the Christ.  I am a weak sinner.  A weak sinner with concupiscence.  And I'm weak.  (I know it sounds like a proof-reading miss, but I meant it that way.)  I'm just lying here in the desert of Lent like a slug.

But, you know, maybe that's okay.  Maybe that's the best I can get out of Lent this year.

There are lessons that can be got out of every circumstance.  If all I can do is lie there, then I shall have to count on efforts outside myself.  That's good, too.  "But he said to me, 'My power is made perfect in weakness.'" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

It is okay to ask for - and count on - the efforts of friends, as well.  Remember this one from Luke's gospel?

"And behold, men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they sought to bring him in and lay him before Jesus; but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus.  And when He saw their faith he said, 'Man, your sins are forgiven you.' . . . 'I say to you, rise, take up your bed and go home.'  And immediately he rose before them, and took up that on which he lay, and went home, glorifying God." (Luke 5:18-25)

It's good to have friends!  Sometimes my friends and I seem to take turns lying there and carrying each other a few inches, even if we can't lower each other through roofs.  I was moaning about this to my good friend, Carol.  She suggested, "Just put some purple place-mats on the table and you'll feel better."  She understands.  We pray for each other as well.

But, even if you haven't any good friends around to carry you to Him, all is not lost.  The Church carries us.  The whole cloud of witnesses, visible and invisible.  In every Mass, we are all prayed for, whether we're at that Mass or not.  Whew!  And it's not just the prayers of those in attendance.  The liturgy is the work of all God's people.  The Mass is the drawing back of the veil of space and time to attend both the sacrifice at Calvary and the heavenly banquet attended by the angels, singing "Holy, holy, holy!"

Another episode from the Gospels that may give you hope when you're lying there in the hot desert, unable to get up, is the story of the poor paralytic who was lying in the portico by the pool of Bethesda, where healing could be obtained by the first person to enter the pool when the angel stirred up the waters each day.  The poor man was lying there for thirty-eight years because he had no friends to carry him.  Oh, my heart goes out to him every time I hear his story! What happened next?

"When Jesus saw him and knew that he had been lying there a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be healed?'  The sick man answered him, 'Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is troubled, and while I am going another steps down before me.'  Jesus said to him, 'Rise, take up your pallet, and walk.'  At once the man was healed, and he took up his pallet and walked." John 5:6-9

Jesus did not carry him first to the pool to be healed.  He gave the man the healing he desired!!  Healing came to the man while he was lying there!

Another account in the Gospel of Luke tells us of a blind man, sitting there who seized the moment.

"As [Jesus] drew near to Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging; and hearing a multitude going by, he inquired what this meant.  They told him, 'Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.'  And he cried, 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!'  And those who were in front rebuked him, telling him to be silent; but he cried out all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!'  And Jesus stopped, and commanded him to be brought to him; and when he came near, he asked him, 'What do you want me to do for you?'  He said, 'Lord, let me receive my sight.'  And Jesus said to him, 'Receive your sight; your faith has made you well.'  And immediately he received his sight and followed him, glorifying God; and all the people, when they saw it, gave praise to God." (Luke 18:35-43)

If you're having a pathetic Lent, maybe that's okay.  Maybe just lie there if that's all you can do.  Our Lord knows your desires and He will come to you.  He may send friends to carry you to Him.  He may offer you the grace you expected would come from the devotions you wish you were doing.  He may pass by and hear you calling out.  But He will hear your prayers, even if, like mine, they consist mainly of walking around muttering, "Jesus, have mercy on me."

If you're just lying there like a slug in the heat of the desert this Lent, be sure to offer the sort of prayer you can for all the others just lying there in the desert, because the prayers of a parched slug availeth much.

Scripture or Tradition? Which Version of The Lord's Prayer Do You Pray?

As a Catholic, I have wondered why non-Catholic Christians pray the Lord's Prayer differently than we do.  I mean, it's pretty straight forward in the Bible.  The disciples ask Jesus to teach them to pray and He says, "Pray like this."  And what follows is what we call the Our Father - because it begins, "Our Father" (clever, eh?).  And it ends, "but deliver us from evil."  Amen!  But, if you've ever been at an ecumenical gathering, you may have noticed not everyone stops there.  This can be somewhat awkward.

And more than a little confusing!  Why are they saying, “For Yours is the power and glory forever” and we’re not?

When I first encountered this, my reactions included the thoughts, "What?!?!?!  How can we differ in this most basic of Christian prayers, taught by Jesus himself!?!"  "Well, they're supposed to be more adept in the Bible.  Maybe Catholics are just stopping short."  "Hey!  I recognize that extra part from the Mass!"

So, by and by I have gathered more information about the discrepancy.  I first looked to the Bible to be sure my ignorance didn't begin with an ignorance of Scripture.  (You know what St. Jerome says: “Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.”  That’s something I hope to avoid!).  This passage where Jesus teaches the disciples to pray in those words occurs in two Gospels, Matt 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4.  Both accounts end the prayer where Catholics do.  Of course they do; mine is a Catholic Bible, right?  Maybe theirs is different?

So I asked a Baptist friend why they said the Lord's Prayer that way and where she thought the additional words came from.  It had never occurred to her.  Obviously, she had never felt the discomfort of praying in a mixed-Faith group in which some people stopped at "deliver us from evil.  Amen" while she carried on with "For Thine is the kingdom . . ."  She hadn’t noticed that the phrase wasn’t recorded as Our Lord’s words in her Bible.

She, too, looked up the Bible passage on line right away.  Looking in a Protestant edition Bible, she found that the line in question was not in the text.  There was, however, a footnote at the conclusion of the text of Jesus’ prayer.  Apparently, "Some later manuscripts" contain the extra doxology.  That was the only explanation.  Whoa!!  A person could find this unsettling!  Is it or isn't it part the inspired, inerrant Word of God?  The footnote suggest that they're not sure.  Where do those words come from and why the discrepancy?

I mean, we want to pray as Jesus taught us to, so we ought to know with certainty the prayer He taught.  Either it is an extra-biblical tradition, or it is what our Lord taught.  If it is part of the Word of God, then why isn’t it in Bibles?

Apparently I'm not the first person to be interested in or concerned about this discrepancy.  I typed the question into the magic 8 ball we call the internet.  Who knew there are forums populated with pastors and Bible scholars devoted to discussing the various possibilities to determine whether or not this sentence is, in fact, part of the inspired Word of God?  And, if it’s not, what to do about it.  They discussed probable dates of its inclusion in certain manuscripts (hand copied Bibles) and archeological discoveries that might help tease out whether it can be truly considered Scripture.

To quote George Baily, “this is a very interesting situation.”  If one’s faith – in creed and practice - is determined solely by what is contained between the covers of one’s Bible, then one will want to be sure of what is and is not in there.  “For Thine is the power and glory, forever.” is said to be found in some old manuscripts of the New Testament – but not others.  How did it get into some and not others?  Who gets to decide which versions are really Scripture and which are not?  It either is or is not part of the inspired Word of God.  If you can not tell for this passage, then you can not know the inerrancy of any passage of Scripture!

I know that Catholics use the phrase in our liturgy (the Mass), and that we know it is not part of Scripture.

Naturally, I did more research to find out when that phrase first appeared on the Christian scene.  That is to say I asked my theology nerd friends.  I am blessed to have several.  They are friends from the graduate theology program I was in, who have continued studying and working in the field since that time, more than a decade ago.  It's like having a research department at my disposal!

They directed me to the Didache (The Teaching of the Lord for the Nations through the Twelve Apostles), a short document generally believed to be written between 50 and 150AD.  It contains teachings regarding morality, liturgical practices, Church structure and eschatology (the last things) for Christian communities.  Scholars of all stripes accept that “the Didache was known and used in the ancient church.  In the first three centuries, some authors cited or referred to it as if it were part of the Scriptural canon.” (Clement of Rome & theDidache: A New Translation and Theological Community by Kenneth J. Howell, p.58).  It is the earliest known mention of the doxology in conjunction with the Lord’s Prayer, and this appears in what is likely to be a liturgical setting (that is, the Mass).

Of course this makes sense to me, as I grew up saying this doxology following the Our Father during Mass!  This wonderful document, the Didache, highlights the incredible continuity of our liturgical celebrations from very early in the life of the Christian Church.  Now, why didn’t I ever read it before this?  Some have suggested that perhaps during the arduous task of hand copying the Bible, a tired monk slipped it in after Our Lord’s Prayer from long familiarity with it in daily Mass.  Perhaps.  We can’t be sure.

Obviously, the practice of praying the Lord's Prayer and including the doxology, "For Thine is the power and the glory," came into the practice of Protestant Christians through its use in the Mass, not from the possibility of it being part of Sacred Scripture.  When their predecessors departed from the Catholic Church, they took much of the liturgical tradition with them and it has only gradually and partially fallen out of use.  Some parts have remained (like the doxology following the prayers of the priest after the Our Father at Mass), but the knowledge of its origin has been lost to them.  What they're left with is a discussion of whether or not these words are part of Scripture - because they are erroneously contained in some manuscripts.

But, the question remains for our Christian brethren.  How can we know what is and is not contained in the Bible and how did what’s in there get there in the first place?  Why this letter and not that letter?  Why this book and not that book?  Who decided this a way back when?  The books in the New Testament were separate, written accounts, letters and instruction circulated and read within the liturgical celebrations.  At some point, our early Christian predecessors had to assemble them in an approved collection of those considered to be Scripture, leaving out some letters and accounts that had been read and valued by Christian communities as if they were Scripture.  Many of these other instructions, like the Didache, continued to be valued as teaching sources, but were not treated as the inerrant Word of God.  Who were these people and how is it that we trust their decisions today?  Do we even know this?

Oh, if only Jesus had left us an authoritative body that would remain with the Christian community to speak on His behalf, to guide them in these difficult matters, to teach them, to “guard the deposit” (cf 2 Timothy 1:14), so we wouldn’t have to wade through archaeological evidence (once it is eventually discovered).  Ah, but He did!  He left people, not a book.  He left his Apostles.  And they left apostles behind them by the laying on of their hands (see Acts 1:15-26 & 13:3), and so on right down to today.    We can be sure of what is the inspired, inerrant Word of God, because of the authority Jesus gave to them.

This amazing picture was taken by my friend, Mike Denz, who leads pilgrimages to Italy.  www.TakeaPilgrimage.com

This is a great unifying principle that Our Lord left us, without which, His Church splinters as individuals decipher different meanings from Scripture.  Without which they do not even know what is the inspired, inerrant Word of God.  Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ, indeed.

“I do not pray for these only, but also for those who believe in me through their word, that they may all be one; even as though, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.  The glory which thou hast given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and thou in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that thou hast sent me and has loved them even as thou hast loved me.”  John 17:20-23

Photo credit: Mike Denze, pilgrimage leader.  See below for contact info below.

 Further reading about the origin of the Bible and the Church that will rock your world:

 Why Are Catholic Bibles Bigger and The Case for the Deuterocanon: Evidence and Arguments by Gary Michuta.  https://catholicproductions.com/collections/books/gary-michuta

Where We Got the Bible: Our Debt to the Catholic Church by Henry G. Graham

 https://shop.catholic.com/where-we-got-the-bible-our-debt-to-the-catholic-church/

Clement of Rome & the Didache: A New Translation and Theological Commentary by Kenneth J. Howell

https://chnetwork.org/2013/01/14/clementofrome/

Many, many more at https://stpaulcenter.com/

For more information on a pilgrimage to Rome with my fun friend, Mike and his lovely (and also fun) wife, Sue, visit www.TakeaPilgrimage.com.  You can be edified and engaged about Catholic teaching at his blog:  www.sacredheartshrine.org/sacred-thinking 

Do You Hate Small Talk? Maybe You're Doing It Wrong

I've heard many people claim they hate small talk like it's a mark of distinction.  I'm not sure that's something worth boasting of, though.  Small talk gets a bad rap, but making it is a skill well worth having.  It's a skill that smooths the way for friendships and relieves uncomfortable social situations by getting conversation moving.  It's like the Ex-Lax of the conversational world!  If you've ever attended a bridal shower or youth group function you have played games and "ice-breakers" designed to make small talk happen.  The whole point of these is to ensure that everyone is comfortable enough with each other to enjoy a pleasant time even if they entered as strangers.

While silence is necessary for a healthy life, interaction with others is too.  Conversation is the thing that helps strangers become acquaintances and even friends.  Small talk is merely introductory conversation.  It functions like a search engine for commonalities with a potential friend.  Of course, if the talk remains small, the relationship will too.  But that's part of the beauty of it.  Sometimes you want to make a strange situation more cozy with chit chat, even if you don't intend to take these new folks home with you.  Maybe you're standing in a long line, sitting on a plane, or at a table full of strangers at a wedding.  The person who can begin an engaging conversation with a diverse group is generally admired for their social ease.

Small talk can also be employed to keep an acquaintance an acquaintance.  Perhaps the person you just met is angling to get to know you more deeply than you desire.  Restricting the conversation to small talk gets this message across without directly rejecting their efforts.

The purpose of it lies in the conversation itself, not in the topic, so, what makes it "small" is that it is introductory.  If you don't know someone well, it would be odd to dive into intimate topics before surfing the areas you have in common.  Who doesn't wish they could surf?  I think most people already knows this intuitively, but I'm here to offer a defense of the often maligned small talk.  The very name "small" may suggest superficiality of though in contrast to having the command of grand and important ideas - and folks don't wish to seem small of mind.

Oftentimes, it is introverts who claim a dislike of small talk - at least I've seen articles outlining the tendencies of introverts making this claim.  Perhaps what they really mean is that they are uncomfortable in situations where they are surrounded with strangers - the very people we use small talk to transform into acquaintances.  Well, that's the discomfort that well crafted small talk is supposed to relieve!

Perhaps when people say they hate small talk, they have in mind the chatter of people who do it poorly.  Someone endlessly talking, especially about himself, is as intolerable as the one word answerer.  But, neither of these is proper small talk - just poor social skills.

Mark Twain's illustration 

In A Tramp Abroad, Mark Twain humorously describes a chattering American youth traveling in Europe whose main occupation is making acquaintance with all the Americans he lays his eyes on and interrogating them in the most superficial manner and without even taking in their answers.  "That's the way I always do -- I just go 'round, 'round, 'round and talk, talk, talk -- I never get bored."  He asks the same loop of inconsequential questions - what hotel they're stopping at, what boat they came over on, and so on - until they can escape or are driven to distraction.  Twain catches on and answers the questions differently each time they come around, unnoticed by the lad, because the purpose of his talk is mainly to please himself.

Twain's comments upon the young man's departure echo the popular inclination to hate small talk, a proper response to its unskilled application: "And away he went.  He went uninjured, too -- I had the murderous impulse to harpoon him in the back with my alpenstock, but as I raised the weapon the disposition left me; I found I hadn't the heart to kill him, he was such a joyous, innocent, good-natured numbskull."

On the contrary, a person skilled in the art of small talk is a sort of hero.  A magician.  An engineer.  An artist!  They can facilitate introductions, entertain a group of reluctant talkers, draw out quiet but fascinating people.  They know how to make other people socially comfortable.  One who is very skilled can seamlessly referee a group discussion, temper the attention hog or even orchestrate a bit of match making. 

There are a few things we can all do to improve in this underappreciated skill.  I fall a bit more on the introvert side and am sometimes apprehensive about entering a group or meeting new people.  When my husband and I will be dining with colleagues of his, I pick his brain to learn what I can about them that will help me prepare to make conversation.  It's good to have a place to start and questions to ask certain people about themselves to pave the way for further discussion.  People like talking about themselves and things that interest them - and it shows that your interest in them preceded your meeting.

It also helps to have some current event or topic of recent interest up your sleeve to pull out at the right opportunity.  Reading books and articles on various subjects can aid you in this.  I know that other people may be uncomfortable too, and it’s inevitable they will ask questions about me, so it’s a good idea to think of how I can answer those in a way that might lead to further conversation, rather than falling flat.  Bring in other information to expand the possibilities.  Rather than answering, “I’m just a homemaker” when asked about myself, I can mention my kids, hobbies, interests and bring up a whole new line of conversation.  It’s like playing scrabble.  For a more interesting game, you need to open up the board for the other players.

When you keep your focus on the other person’s comfort, small talk becomes an act of charity.  The aim of it is to forget yourself and your own awkwardness in an effort to help the other person feel welcome.  Even if you claim to hate small talk, you probably need to engage in it on a regular basis.  You're probably better at it than you think.  With a little more intentional effort, you can be a small conversation master in no time!

Nothing Says Fall Like . . .

Nothing says Fall like pumpkins!

So orange and round; so full of possibilities!  They are the official mascot for Fall's first really Autumny holiday, Halloween.  Just cut holes in it and let it sit on your porch till it collapses of mold!  If you're too lazy (or smart?) for that, you can simply strew them on your front steps and leave them through the whole long season as decorations.

These pumpkins were grown in my best ever garden.  The vine sprouted in our compost area and they just grew with no work on my part whatsoever!

And not just decorations - you can eat them!!  Roasted pumpkin, toasted pumpkin seeds, pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie!  Let's not forget the ubiquitous pumpkin spice latte - which is really just a hot coffee and pumpkin pie smoothie.  If you like that sort of thing.  And many do!

Pumpkin pie works right through Thanksgiving and even into Christmas ("There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy, as we pass around the coffee and the PUMPkin pie.")  (Perhaps that's where the idea of the pumpkin spice latte originated)

Yup.  Nothing says Fall quite like pumpkins.

Except maybe falling leaves. When they're falling from all the trees after turning the bright hues of the sunset of the year.  Because, you know, isn't that where the season got that name?  They say Fall, by actual example.  How lovely!  I like how the tippety-tappety-tip of the leaves sounds like rain.  Forget all that stuff about pumpkins saying Fall.  Nothing really says Fall like leaves falling.  (What was I thinking?!)

Lots of people start speaking of Fall when school starts up again.  Not me!  It's still summer till that long day, right around September 22nd, when the day and night tip from lengthening to shortening.  That's what the calendar says.  And the earth gets to that point in its journey around the sun.  But, I am not an astronaut; I must trust the calendar.  And calendars do not rule my life.  Fall is when those leaves change color and fall.

Don't those falling, burnished leaves make you think of warm sweaters?  For a moment the world looks like Mother Nature crocheted an afghan of warm colors to lay over for the woods in preparation for the chill air.

It's true.  Nothing says Fall quite like the falling of leaves.

But you can't eat leaves falling from trees, however bright they are.  If something says Fall, I want it to be edible.  Apples!  Apples are both edible and fall from trees in the autumn!  Nothing says Fall like apples!  I didn't know what I was talking about before.  Cross out all that drivel about leaves.  Leaves.  Apples are what really does it.  They just shout Fall!  They have everything going for them!  They're pretty Fall colors, you can eat them, they fall from trees.  Perfect.

And no one associates them with having to go back to school.  You can give one to your teacher, which seems to be a tradition for some reason.  But you can give one to anybody to sweeten them up.  And, it's a scientific fact that eating one a day keeps the doctor away.

The eating of them spans the effort spectrum from more complex, like apple strudel (Look, I have no idea what apple strudel is, which is the only reason I chose it as my example), to no effort whatsoever – just take a bite of the apple.

People start posting pictures on social media of their families going apple picking and I know Autumn has arrived!  They tell you how many gallons of apple sauce they made that day.  They show you their latest apple pie creation.  So, that’s my cue to go to the store and buy a few Honey Crisps (who doesn’t want crisp honey?!), Fujis (which will bring you all the joy of a tropical island) or Galas (a party in every bite!). 

Sometimes my family cooperates and they eat them, sometimes they just grow lonely and shrivel up.  My personal favorite fall apple treat is warm, tasty and easy as pie.  Actually, it’s way easier than pie and that’s why it’s my favorite.  I like baked apples.  Here’s the recipe:  you basically turn on the oven and put them in.

Okay, it’s a little more involved than that, but that’s the gist of it.  You just bake them!  And then you put your mouth around theur warm sweetness, they bespeaks the best of the season of Fall.

Nothing says Fall like baked apples!

It's a comfort food, and not very attractive, even in a pretty bowl.  But what comfort food is?

My Baked Apple Recipe

The first thing to keep in mind is that you can get baked apples by shoving a stick into a whole apple and holding it over a fire.  With that in mind, follow as much or as little of these suggestions as appeal to you.

- Core the number of apples that will fit into your oven safe dish with a lid.

- Set them into the dish (I know, but if I didn’t say it . . .) 

- Put some raisins into the bottom of the hole in each apple. 

- Then fill the apples with the following in no particular order, but I tend to do it in this order. 

- Put a little granulated gelatin into each apple.  (This step is totally both optional and optimal.  It makes a sort of syrup at the bottom of the pan and adds a little nutrition.  Yum!)(It will still get syrupy without it)(I've included a link to my Amazon thing just so you can see what I'm talking about it and, if you ordered it from there, I might benefit financially, but I doubt it!)

- Stuff a bunch of butter into each apple.  (Don’t skimp.  It’s going to run out the bottom and add to the deliciousness of that syrup.)

- Sprinkle (or just pour) spices such as cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, cloves, allspice in the proportions you like.  (Think apple pie or pumpkin spice) 

- Add a little water to the pan. 

- Maybe sprinkle with chopped nuts.

- A little alcohol might be nice, too.  You decide. 

- Really, you get the idea.  You’re baking apples filled with pie flavors that will melt down into the moisture at the bottom and can be spooned back over the baked apples. 

- This is not rocket science. 

- Bake in the oven at a temperature determined by your level of patience (350 is they standard go-to temperature for baking, but you’ll get to eat them sooner if you set it at 400) 

- Bake them till they’re as soft as you think you’ll like them.  Personally, I like the skins to burst and the insides to be almost mushy.  Occasionally, I have forgotten them until they resemble applesauce in deflated apple skins.  Others say they like a little firmness.

They will be quite hot when you take them out, so for heaven sake, don’t burn your tongue!!  Consider serving with vanilla ice cream or a little heavy cream or half and half poured over.

Enjoy!

The Homeschool Teaching Crisis

There are many kinds of homeschooling parents.  There are those who incline toward structure and order, whose days appear to run seamlessly.  They make it look so easy.  I'm not one of those.  I am inclined toward crises of purpose and procedure.  Structure is not my best friend, though I long for it.  I have waves of wailing and gnashing my teeth about this impossible task I have brought upon myself - but have no plan to escape.  I suppose you could call my educational style "The Hopeful Masochist Homeschooler".

A totally staged picture of me pretending to get a headache teaching my daughter something and her pretending to learn it.  She didn't want to actually write one of those cursive letters for the picture because it's Saturday.

I'll have to write this quickly while I'm still on an upswing from my most recent existential crisis of homeschooling despair.  I want to share some of my more helpful thoughts to sort of send down a rope to those of you who are currently wallowing in the pit of self-doubt.  Please do not use it to hang yourself, but rather, to try to climb out.

(If you’re someone who has it all figured out and makes it look easy, you probably won't want to waste your time reading further, so you might as well go back and help your second grader construct the life size replica of the Globe Theatre, in which your family of eight geniuses will perform the Shakespeare works they have memorized.)

What is this thing we're doing?  Educating our children.  And what does that actually mean?  What is our goal?  For some it's getting them into college.  For some it's launching them into a lucrative job or career path.  For some it's keeping up with the state’s educational requirements.  For some it's making sure they're ahead of the standard.  For some it's providing a liberal or classical education to free their minds.  For some it's being faithful to homeschooling at any cost.  For some it's keeping them safe from the world.  And, I confess, some find one of the extremely attractive goal to be avoiding having to get them up and dressed before the sun comes up.

In pursuing these goals and meeting these standards, often set by someone else, we go through our days with our children pushing and fretting, yelling and regretting.  Someone else’s standards.  But these are my children to raise.  I am their parent and no one cares more about them and their future than I do.  When I stand back and look at the big picture, what difference does it really make if they go to college as long as they find a path they love, by which they can make a living?  Who cares if they’re geniuses or three grades ahead?  Not everyone can be a prodigy or it would lose its meaning.

So, how do I know what curriculum to use, what philosophy to follow, when to worry about their progress?

I'm currently looking into the method of "not worrying too much about it" for continuing our homeschooling.  I have already overachieved my quota for worrying and that’s not paying off with peace.  There is so much time - even though it seems so short.  I'm wondering why we think our kids need (as kids) the absolute “best” education out there.  And, I doubt very much that there is one.  And the other question that must be asked is, “Best education for what?”

I think it depends on the kid.  And the parents.  And the timing.  And the weather.  I'm pretty sure if they learn to read and you have a happy, loving relationship with them and do interesting things now and then, they'll turn out fine.  You’ll be amazed. There simply can’t be only one recipe for well educated people.  What is this education for?

I guess that's the question I should be asking when I fret about finding the right, best or perfect curriculum or materials to use.  What difference will it make (now or later) if we do this or that thing?  What's at stake?  Is it the kind of living my kid will be able to make?  The snob factor of the college she attends?  (Who cares?)  Will it be the difference between getting A's or B's or C's in a college class?  (Big deal).  Will she have even better conversations with even “better” people?  Will her mind be bigger - and what for?

I’m on board with the idea of a liberal arts education, which provides “a means of teaching the student to be happy by learning to love what is good, true, and beautiful. God is the Origin of all goodness, truth, and beauty—and that means loving Him and ordering one’s life accordingly.”* (See Karen Landry’s whole article here, for more on the purpose of education)  But, even pursuing this ought not be at the cost of stressed out relationships that turn them into liberally-educated neurotics.  It’s not like there is just one package that will deliver this.

If I look at my own life so far and ask what I wish had been different, so little of it involves what I learned at what age.  I think it would have been helpful if history had been presented more as a framework in which everything happened in an inter-related way, rather than as a subject.  But I doubt very much my life would have been drastically different even if that had happened.

I think I'm doing pretty well myself, in terms of can-hold-a-conversation-without-sounding-too-stupid and I had virtually no real, methodical education to boast of.  We moved a lot and changed schools a lot, so it was all hit or miss.  I wasn't even really into reading.  Even through grad school writing papers made me feel like dying.  I doubt I could actually diagram a sentence even now.  Nevertheless, here I am loving to learn and pass on interesting things.  I love to live in this fascinating world with so many mysteries to solve.

I'm really trying to de-stress the whole deal.  And to thereby actually love the processes of teaching and learning.  I'm now trying to shake off all the extraneous expectations of other people's standards, so we can get down to enjoying learning and developing better relationships and a happy homeschool.

Here are some basic tips I offer for those in the homeschooling pit of despair:

• §  Seek like-minded friends.  My friends are a wealth of ideas, encouragement and discussion about education.  If you lack a social group, find one on Facebook devoted to homeschooling in several styles you like.  They abound!
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• §  Avoid those people who believe there is only one way (generally, it’s their way).
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• §  Be open to completely different things than you’ve been trying – even enrolling in a school.  No option must be a permanent commitment.  I have a friend who homeschools when it works for them and just as easily enrolls her kids in school when that works better, even for only part of a year.  She is my inspiration of non-commitment!
• 
  
• §  Ask grown-ups you admire about their education.  You may be surprised how varied their experiences were.  I know a brilliant man, who heads an educational organization, has a degree in architecture and designed his own stunning house, travels the world helping families with children with disabilities, whom, I discovered, could not read until he was in fourth grade.  How’s that for giving you hope?
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• Look at your actual child.  Are you proud of that child out there in public?  Other people can tell you how you are doing.  Believe them!
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• §  Remember they are just kids.  They’re not finished.  They’re supposed to act like that at that age.  Remember what you were like then.  You may not see the output yet, but all the stuff you’re putting in will eventually be manifest.

There is more than one path to excellence – and there are even more paths to goodness.  If educating your children is stressing you out and you find yourself feeling like a slave to other people’s standards, step back and remind yourself what this education thing really is and what it’s for.  Take a deep breath.  These are your children to love, raise and educate.  Your peace and enjoyment will pass along to them, just like your weird habits and family quirks.  They’ll be fine.  You’re probably doing a better job than you realize.

·         Follow this link to read the article by Karen Landry in the Cardinal Newman Society Journal, from which this quote was taken:  articlehttps://journal.newmansociety.org/2017/10/not-aim-happiness-thats-goal/

Soul's Hearth

As I walked into the church for Mass last Sunday, I noticed right away the candles had been trimmed too long.  They looked like a half dozen lit bottle rockets lined up on the reredos, in anticipation of the dazzling finale in a Fourth of July pyrotechnic display.  My mind filled with strains of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.  Smoke was billowing upward from each candle, competing with the incense in sending super-spiritual smoke signals to heaven.  I became curious about how and who would have to clean the layer of soot that was accumulating on the overhanging decorative cornice of white marble.

This is a picture of the sanctuary of our church.  The picture was not taken on the Sunday in question, but on the Easter Sunday when the quantity of incense used set off the fire alarms, resulting in the response of the local fire department.

Obviously, I had not yet succeeded in reaching the appropriate level of recollection for the great miracle of Mass that would be commencing imminently.  I was, instead, trying to suppress thoughts of the creme brulee that could be finished by the power of those blow torches adorning the tabernacle!  What a display!  Almost as powerfully flaming were the six candles upon the altar - but they lacked the benefit of the glossy white marble background with stripes of gold mosaic tiles inlaid.

It happened that the weather enhanced the spectacle, by providing an overcast dim to the Fall sunlight.  In fact, as the Mass progressed, the clouds gathered and the rain burst down in what seemed to my imagination Biblical proportions (Old Testament, naturally).  It turns out this storm even produced tornadoes in neighboring regions.

Around the time of the consecration the darkness and noise outside was surely noticed even by the most attentive and holy in the congregation.  Our church has very large sections of clear, floor to ceiling windows at the back of the transept arms where our family sits - not for the view, I might add, but the view of the sky is rather unavoidable when sitting there.  This made for a dramatic moment, the darkened world illuminated by the glow within the sanctuary.

I know it sounds like I was missing the point of the Sunday obligation, but I promise these thoughts took mere minutes, interspersed through the liturgy.  My kids were far more distracting than the candles, as my worshiping neighbors can attest.  (Sorry folks!!)

Nevertheless, some meandering thoughts during Mass can be tamed enough to help raise one's mind and heart to God in earnest and these were no exception.

By Morgan Weistling

While the wind roared outside and the rain whipped the windows, the warming glow of the blazing candles within the sanctuary brought to my mind the coziness of a fire in a hearth, good for light, heat and transformation of simple ingredients into nourishing and sustaining food.  I thought of generations of people gathered around a tended fire, for life, for companionship.

I thought of He who is the Light of the world, the life giver, who by His burning love transforms himself into nourishing and soul sustaining food.  He who transforms us, the tongues of fire descending upon us, at our invitation, that we may go out and warm the world by His flame.

Lord, trim my wick long.

Excuse Me, God, Is There a Family Discount?

It's not easy to become a saint while raising a family.  Especially for some of us.  Me, for instance.  And I could use a little help.  I heard a priest recommend that we read about and seek the intercession of saints who shared the same vocation as us.  Priests should get to know the lives of holy priests, religious sisters should study saints who were religious sisters and parents should seek the intercession of saints who lived their vocation as parents, etc.

Quick!  Think of saints who were parents!  Now, eliminate those who were martyred with their young children, because that's not the same as becoming a saint while parenting those same children through the years.  You can also eliminate those who were royalty or otherwise had someone on staff helping keep house and raise the children.  There goes St. Margaret of Scotland, patron of mothers.  She was a queen.  Also, there goes St. Gianna Berreta Mola, darn it!  She is a prime example of a modern woman who was very holy and a mother.  But, she's doesn't exactly represent me, because, though she had decided to stop her full-time work after the birth of her fourth child, she died heroically from complications of her fourth pregnancy.  She did not spend all her days at home attempting to educate her kids (though I suspect she would have been great at it if she had!).

Likewise, Zelie Martin, the mother of St. Therese (and four other daughters who became nuns) died young.  I'm not young anymore and I need a patron for this job!  I know all the saints give an example of holiness that can apply to us all.  I am a great appreciator of the saints, many of whom I consider dear friends.

 So, what’s so different about being a mom than other vocations that makes it so hard to grow in holiness?  Well, first of all, you’re never really alone in a quiet, prayerful setting.  Even church isn’t a quiet, prayerful setting when I go with my kids.  Why do you think there’s so much discussion about whether young children should be taken into the church or stuffed into the cry room?  They call it the “cry room” for a reason.  One might argue it could just as well have been called the “whine room.”

If you don’t spend quality time speaking and listening to God, how can you cultivate a relationship with him?  Right?

And, let’s face it, St. Paul was right.

“An unmarried woman . . . is anxious about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in both body and spirit.  A married woman, on the other hand, is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband."        (1 Corinthians 7:34) 

As much as I argued with him that, surely after gaining attending a graduate program in theology from an institution faithful to the Church, surrounded by others who want to be saints, I would be able to balance spiritual life and family life!  Why would I suddenly be more concerned with things of the world just because I got married?  What did he know?

Well, these “things of the world” keep my children fed, which, if I didn’t concern myself with, they would perish.  I guess he knew something after all.

But still, I’m going to argue that while each vocation and individual life is fraught with its own difficulties and distractions, having children living about you daily, per se, makes it a bit harder to practice those virtues you need to become a saint.  Oh, sure, there are many more opportunities to practice these virtues (patience, prudence, fortitude, justice, charity, etc.), for me, this somehow always seems to translate into more occasions when I actually fail at these virtues.

I wonder, then, if God gives parents sort of a family discount for holiness.  Sort of like a golf handicap.

Let’s see, you entered the cloister early and died young?  You need to gain 5000 virtue points to be a saint.  You can earn those by praying for families.  Your family was wealthy, your every need was met and you lived through an era of peace?  That’ll take 7300 points, but you can get a discount for giving away half your fortune without a tax deduction.  You’re a pastor who maintained a prayer life, exemplified virtue, said the Mass reverently, settled quarrels and evangelized your flock?  Congratulations!  Here’s your “Get Out of Purgatory Free” card!  Your people should bring forward your cause for canonization!

You’re a homeschooling mom?  You get a coupon book containing 40,000 coupons redeemable for unfinished Rosaries, weekday Mass you wanted to go to, but someone threw up, taking your kids to the grocery store without using bad language in public and many more!  We don’t expect much from you, under the circumstances.

Getting to heaven is a lot of work!

Now before you get all panicky that I think we need to work our way into heaven, of course I don’t.  It’s enough to “accept Jesus Christ into our heart as our Lord and Savior” to gain eternal life.  (And, if you want to get all technical, be baptized.  Matt 28:19).  But, my love for Him is what He wants and what I want to give Him.  Love is shown by going the extra mile, by putting our words into action.  To just believe and call it “done” seems a little like saying, “That’s enough for Him!  The rest is all for me.”

While it is enough, Our Lord wants for us ever so much more.  He wants to dwell in us, so we may have and become all He gives us.

Think of the rich, young man in Matthew’s Gospel.  He asked Jesus what he ought to do to gain eternal life.  Jesus answered simply “If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”  That was enough.  But the young man pushed his question to another level.  “All of these I have observed.  What do I still lack?”  To which Jesus, seeing he wanted more than to just slip in to the kingdom, gave him the course to the next level of love, “If you wish to be perfect; go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.  Then come, follow me.” (cf Matthew 19:16-21)

A few chapters earlier in Matthew’s Gospel, we hear Jesus sum up his sermon on the mount with the words, “So, be perfect just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Matt 5:48).  Jesus invites us to be perfect; He wants us to be perfect.

He wants us to aspire to the higher level, to holiness!  He gives us the grace to do so.  But, He also knows we are weak and we each live in different circumstances and so, there is a level of commitment that is “enough,” but not “perfect.”  He knows the lights we each have been given and the weight of the burdens we carry.  Only He knows these.

And yet, He calls us each to a higher level of love than we can know we are capable of.

It is in this that His “discount” lies.  His Love is our discount.  We must avail ourselves of it, whatever our circumstances, whatever our vocation.  And, those peaceful prayers of those cloistered nuns?  Many of them are for those of us living in the world and in families.  And they carry us along more than we will know in this life.  They help convey His love to the world.

So, I guess that means that I’ve got to step it up not only in my parenting, but in all my relationships, if I want to love God perfectly – to become a saint.  I don’t get to figure in my own handicap.  I’ve got to take up my cross and follow Him each day, not concerning myself with my abilities.  He calls me to do the best I can, not worrying about how poor that is, because He Himself, will apply the discount of His mercy.