Eight Ways to Be a Better Godparent

It is an honor to be asked to be a godparent.  But choosing a godparent is not merely a way to honor a friend or relative after the birth of a child; it is an invitation to take on a big responsibility in the child’s life.  No, you are not expected to raise the child in the event of the parents' early demise.  That is taken care of by their will.  The role of the godparents is more on the spiritual side.  As my nine-year-old daughter put it, "The parents help the whole child grow up and the godparents help the child's soul grow up."

The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that “Baptism is the sacrament of faith.  But faith needs the community of believers.  It is only within the faith of the Church that each of the faithful can believe.” (CCC 1253)  The godmother and godfather will ideally be fixed points in the spiritual life of the child.  They are a small, chosen church community for that particular child, regardless of changes of parish and location.  They hold the great responsibility of assisting the parents to help the child to grow spiritually.

So, if you have been honored by an invitation to be a godparent, you’ll want to take your responsibility seriously and be faithful to the promises you made when that baby was baptized.  Here are a few practical ways you can ensure you assist in the spiritual growth of that child and represent the Church community to him or her, whether you live close by or not.

1.   Actually pray daily for your godchild

If you aren't already in the practice of daily prayer, this would be a good time to start!  A routine time will make it easier to remember and be consistent.  Perhaps first thing in the morning (by which I mean, after you've had your coffee!) or before dinner at the end of your grace before meals.  When you are at Mass, be sure to remember your godchild when you receive communion.

2.   Remember your godchild's baptismal day

This is a date you really ought to know.  Chances are, you were there and dressed up for it.  If you don't recall the date, ask the child's parents.  They may have to look it up or call the parish where the child was baptized, but this is a date you should celebrate with your godchild.  For the godparent, the anniversary of the child's baptism is an even more important date to commemorate than their birthday.  Celebrate both, by all means, but if you're going to forget one, let it be the birthday.

Some simple things you can do to observe the day would be to have a Mass said for the child's intentions and send a Mass card.  A nice letter reminding them of the momentous event that happened that day and encouraging them in living the Faith will go a long way toward building your relationship.  At the very least, a phone call can be made.  If the child is still too young to care about any of this, his parents will appreciate it.  If you're close enough to visit, you could have a little party.  Cake and even a gift related to the Faith are a wonderful way to celebrate.

If your godchild is no longer a baby, it’s not too late to begin a tradition of remembering them on this special day.  They might love to get to know you or it could be a way to help them back to living their baptismal promises if they have strayed.

3.   Teach them to renew their baptismal vows

Their baptismal anniversary would be a good time for you to teach your godchild to renew their baptismal vows.   Just as we do at Mass on Easter, everyone present renews their baptismal promises at the same time.  Here are the questions for you to print out.

V. Do you reject Satan?
R. I do.
V. And all his works?
R. I do.
V. And all his empty promises?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary was crucified, died, and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father?
R. I do.
V. Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting?
R. I do.
V. God, the all-powerful Father of our Lord Jesus Christ has given us a new birth by water and the Holy Spirit, and forgiven all our sins. May he also keep us faithful to our Lord Jesus Christ for ever and ever.
R. Amen.
(This is a family service that is directed by one of the parents. The family members renew their baptismal vows and sprinkle themselves with holy water,)

4.   Light their baptismal candle 

If it hasn't been long since the baptism, the parents may still know where the baptismal candle is.  Their baptismal birthday celebration is the time to bring out the candle and light it, ideally when the baptismal vows are being renewed.  If you no longer know where the candle is, just order a new one to use for their anniversary celebration.  Order one for yourself, while you're at it!

5.   Remember your godchild's Name Day

Get to know your child's patron saint and help celebrate their name day!  You can ask the parents if they were named for a particular saint.  A quick Google search will turn up that saint's feast day.  That is the “Name Day” of all those named for that saint.  It's possible that the parents their baby a traditional name, but didn't have a particular saint in mind.  Encourage them to choose one that they think will be a good example for their child.  If the name is one that is made up or doesn't have a saint associated with it at all, just choose a patron saint who seems appropriate for some reason.  Celebrate that saint’s feast as the child's Name Day.

Again, having a Mass said for the child is the greatest of gifts.  It may seem boring to a child now, but its value is immeasurable!  Go ahead and get them a treat or a gift!  Have a little celebration for their Name Day.  Catholics have so much to celebrate!

6.   Faith related gifts

Now that you know their patron saint, you may find books, statues or holy cards about that saint.  Why not surprise your godchild with them sometime?  It is another way to stay in touch and build a relationship with them, as well as bolster their faith.  If the child is small, here there are some really cute toys and books that will help instill a love for holy things.

7.   Refer to yourself as their Godparent

Be sure your godchild actually knows who you are as they grow up!    It is not unusual for parents to choose a godparent for their child who they are close with at one time in their life, but who then become separated by distance.  Do stay in touch as you can.  Try to cultivate a relationship with the child that outlives the one you have with their parents.  Point out the reason for your special relationship with them when you are together or through letters.  If you're a close relative, you may always be remembered as Aunt Carol and the godparent/godchild relationship may go by the wayside.  Be sure to set yourself apart as a sure companion along their spiritual journey.

8.   Attend their reception of first Sacraments

First reception of the Eucharist is a very special day for most Catholics.  Be sure to be there for your godchild to show that you are with them along this journey.  But also find out how you might help prepare them for important sacramental firsts.  Ask their parents when they will be preparing for their first confession (also an important event, but seldom celebrated with panache), first Holy Communion, and Confirmation and ask how you might aid them.

Pick the suggestions that will work for you and your impact as a godparent will be multiplied!  If you pick all of them, then your godchild may well become the envy of all his siblings.  But, more likely, his parents will adopt some of these beautiful practices into their family observance of their Faith.  And all will be richer for it.


[Disclaimer:  These are simply suggestions.  Even I don't do all these things and I only have one godchild!!  Please add them to your life as your personality and level of overwhelm allow.]

Do You Have Cake on Your Name Day?

Do you know any saints?  Most people have at least heard of St. Patrick, St. Francis and St. Peter.  Do you celebrate the feast days of any saints?  The Church gives us a wealth of feasts to help us follow Our Lord more faithfully - and enjoy doing it.

Americans are keen on observing St. Patrick's Day - as an Irish heritage celebration for Catholics, Protestants and Secularists alike.  A taste for green beer or corned beef and cabbage seems the only qualification.  St. Francis is the go-to protector of animals and outdoor things for nature lovers.  St. Peter stands at the pearly gates in many a heavenly joke.  Even St. Valentine is celebrated with chocolates and roses every February.  But many have forgotten the saint at the center of the feast since even his sanctified credential has been dropped from the day's name as it's now just called Valentine's Day.

But, did you know there are many, many more saints to celebrate throughout the year?  The average Catholic is also familiar with St. Anthony for helping find lost objects.  St. Joan of Arc is a figure commonly known on account of leading France's army to victory.  People associate St. George with slaying a dragon.  St. Joseph is the foster father of Jesus and husband of Mary, but he'll also help you sell your house.  Most Catholics have a few other favorite saints, too.

But wait!  There's more!  Heaven is filled with friends and helpers that the Church gives us as examples of heroicaly loving God and living an abundant life.  Each day of the year there is at least one saint commemorated.  How can we take advantage of this wealth of holy friendships?

Allow me to acquaint you with more of your heavenly brethren.

Read Lives of Saints
If you feel you are a stranger among the great cloud of witnesses that is the mystical body of Christ, you need to get to know a few more saints.  Whenever I have read about saints I feel as though they have become my friends.  Pick up a book about various saints or about one in particular.  Often you will get a very engaging biography from books geared toward young readers.  As you gain more interest in certain saints, you may wish to move on to a full length biography and their own writings.

Mary Fabyan Wyndeatt has written many books on the lives of various saints that are perfect for reading to young children, for independent reading by older children and even for the enjoyment of adults.  These and many others can be found at the Tan Books website.

Liturgical Calendar
By attending weekday Mass regularly or periodically, you can hear of the saint celebrated on that day.  There is a special Mass for many of them!  This is not only a great way to learn about different saints, but the best way to celebrate their feast days as well.  In the Mass you join in the heavenly banquet where these saints are feasting at the very same table!

You can find out about their feast days even before you get to Mass.  Friends of mine like these apps for a calendar of saints' feasts: Saint A Day and Laudate.  If you prefer a more hands on tool, you may like Magnificat magazine. It contains the readings for daily masses as well as meditations and other prayers.

Meet Your Patron Saint
Celebrate the name days in your family.  Do you know when your name day is?  First figure out who your patron saint is if you don't already know.  What is your name (first and middle)?  A great many names have more than one saint to choose from as patron.  Ask your parents which saint they had in mind when they named you.  If they are not available to ask, learn about a few of the saints with your name (or a variation of it) and select the one you most feel drawn to.

Discover Your Name Day
In Christian cultures, a person's first name used to be referred to as their "Christian name" because it was the name given them at their baptism, when they became a Christian.  It was always the name of a saint, but this practice is not always followed these days.  If you have a name for which there is not yet a patron, you could find a saint with a similar name.  Be sure to become a saint yourself, so there will be a saint with your name for future generations!

If you have received the Sacrament of Confirmation, you selected a saint whose name you took as your own, so this saint is also your name saint.  With a quick Google search you can learn the feast day of your patron saint.  This is your name day - a day you can celebrate!  Find out the Name Days of all your family members and god children and celebrate these feasts with special prayers and treats!

One website where you can look up your saints with your name is Catholic.org.

Regional Saints
In addition to your name saint, you can tap into saints' feasts that are specially celebrated where you live.  Many countries and cultures have a devotion to certain saints that are observed with traditional practices.  If you are part of an Italian community, you probably already have a feast for St. Joseph's Day (March 19).  Each country has a patron saint.  Wales has St. David, Scotland has St. Andrew, Russia has St. Nicholas and Peru has St. Rose of Lima.  Some countries' patron saints were natives of that land (like St. Charles Lwanga of Uganda and St. Catherine of Siena), while some are known for bringing the Christian Faith to the place (St. Peter Chanel to Oceana and St. Patrick to Ireland).  Learn who is patron to your people and add them to your domestic liturgical celebrations.

Special Patrons
Did you know there are saints for nearly every occasion?  Either from what they did in life or miracles wrought through their intercession after their death, saints have developed reputations for specializing in certain cases.  Do you need a saint to pray with you for safe travels?   Look up "Patron saint for travelers" in a search engine.  Not only will the old standby, St. Christopher, come up, so will St. Bridget of Ireland and St. Joseph of Cupertino.  You can then read why.  Do you work as a nurse, a lawyer, a mother, a student or any other kind of job?  There's a patron saint for that!  St. Agatha of Sicily, St. Thomas More, St. Anne and St. Thomas Aquinas, respectively, are just some of those who specialize in these jobs.

Ways to Celebrate

By now you see how easy it is to add to your circle of heavenly friends.  Next, see how you might celebrate your relationship with them!

Of course you can ask their prayers regularly and attend Mass on their feast days.  You might want to ask the intercession of a saint by praying a Novena that will end on their feast day.

St. Lawrence being grilled

Look into whether there are any traditional practices associated with your favorite saints.  On St. Lucy's day (December 13), for example, it is a Swedish custom for the eldest daughter in the family to don a white dress and, wearing a wreath of candles on her head, serve an early breakfast to the family.  In Hungary, on her feast, wheat is planted in pots to put near the nativity scene.

There are often desserts and other dishes that are traditional in the celebrations of saints.  You can make up your own, too.  I know people who grill out on the feast of St. Lawrence, who was martyred by being burned over a fire.  He kept his humor till the end, saying from the grill, "You can turn me over now, this side is done."  For the feast of the Guardian Angels you might serve angel food cake!  Cooking With the Saints (Ignatius Press) is a lovely cook book with recipes for traditional dishes to celebrate

Make a pilgrimage to a local (or distant) shrine dedicated to a saint.  Here is just one website you can use to find shrines in your state: Catholic Shrines USA.  There are many others, too.

For the Name Day of someone in your family, treat it like a second birthday; have cake!  Be sure to also remember the Name Day of your godchildren and those you have sponsored for Confirmation! Invite over some Catholic friends (especially if they share the same patron saint) give a gift relating to the saint - a book, holy card, religious medal.  Best of all, have a Mass said for their intentions.

Get to know your friends the saints and liven up both your faith and your year with the many feasts you will bring into your family.  The Church gives us so many to celebrate and to celebrate with!