Raising children isn’t as easy as it looks in those soft-focus
magazine and television ads. I think it might be some kind of ruse designed to
bamboozle us into peopling the earth (and buying all the products for it). Actual
children are messy, unreasonable, and they’re around for such a long time! It turns out it takes more than absorbent
paper towel and animal shaped multi-vitamins to raise good kids! It takes happy,
loving parents.
It’s the rare parents, however, who don’t admit they’re in over
their heads upon the arrival of their first bundle of joy. To get through this
extreme sport known as parenting, it is essential to seek out the commiseration
and encouragement of fellow parents-in-the-trenches to compare scars, swap
tactics, and share a whole mess of humorous anecdotes. And also to remind us what our goal is in
this crazy endeavor: eternal happiness for the whole family.
I have the just the thing for you! I recently read Betsy Kerekes’
new book, Be a Happier Parent or Laugh Trying. You may know Betsy from her
humorous blog, Parenting is Funny, or from
the two books she co-wrote with Jennifer Roeback Morse, 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage and 101 Tips for Marrying the Right Person. Betsy is flying solo this time -
and she was tipsy when she wrote this book too! (It contains more tips than the
apron of the prettiest bar maid at Oktoberfest.)
It's clear that she’s a happy, fun person (Betsy, not the bar
maid), who followed the advice from her previous books. It's not that she
comes across as the perfect wife and mom, nor is she preachy and
didactic. In fact, many of the pro tips that pack this slim volume were
gleaned from her myriad mom friends. She
shares her struggles and successes with a healthy dose of humility and humor. Well, maybe it’s more a gluttonous dose of
humor – because, it’s huge.
I guarantee, by a few chapters in, you will feel like you’re
sitting in her kitchen, enjoying coffee with the author, sharing parenting
stories, while your children play (or bicker) with hers nearby. The writing is
conversational and encouraging.
We can all use a little more encouragement these days when it’s so
easy to feel like a failure if you can’t keep up with the “perfect” example of
those moms we see on television, blogs, and magazines. You know, the examples
they save to show the public for our emulation – even though hey probably
don’t live up to it either. Betsy is refreshingly real. While she does give examples
from her own successful experiences, she shares her failures as well. She never
comes across as superciliously saying, “Just do it like I do; it’s so easy!” This is not
an instruction manual.
Each of the ten chapters is headed with an inspiring quotation
from a saint. It’s just one of the things that make apparent Betsy’s
goal of not merely curating a fun-filled family environment, but of helping us to
build a happy family in the truest sense. Aristotle names happiness as our
ultimate goal and virtue as the means to get there. Kerekes leads us through
various ways to grow in virtue as a parent and help our kids do so as well, and
always with the purpose of reaching our true end of eternal happiness – as well as
daily happiness gleaned from a loving, peaceful household.
There are chapters that focus on having fun, dealing with tears
(yours as well as your kids’), discipline, the frustration of trying to keep an
orderly house, teenagers, matters of faith, and gaining help from the saints.
She shares a couple of additional essays on the heartbreak of infertility and
the loss of children. As a mother raising four kids, she has experienced her
share of all of these topics. Her
irrepressibly positive attitude has carried her through difficulties and is
uplifting to read.
There is a good deal of wisdom behind her cheery words. In the pages of this little book, you will learn
the housekeeping secret of “The Magic Chair” and of allowing angry kids slam
doors. Betsy comes across as sort of a phlegmatic version of Mary Poppins
steeped in Saint John Paul II’s teaching of respect for the dignity of the
human person.
With the approach of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, this is a book to consider getting for yourself,
your spouse, and anyone who has or is contemplating having kids any time in the
future. You can even give it to your parish priest, because he can see from the
pulpit the parents who might benefit from such a book.
It may take more than animal shaped multi-vitamins and absorbent
paper towel to raise real life kids. This little book will give you a spiritual
multi-vitamin pick-me-up to face your family with a renewed sense of happiness
and humor.
By Betsy Kerekes
