When Jesus’ disciples asked Him, “Who is the greatest in the
kingdom of heaven?” our Lord answered, "Unless you turn and become like
children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."(Matt 18:3). It’s
a clear message that aiming for greatness and prestige is not going to help us
when it comes to the Kingdom of Heaven.
He redirected the disciples to aim low – to the level of a child. But in exactly what way are we to become like
children? As I want to enter the kingdom
and you probably do too, we’d better get this right! What, could He mean?
Little children are small and cute. The theory of many a
parent is that God made them cute so we'll take care of them and help them
continue to live – especially when doing so might not otherwise seem worth it,
like when they take all your stuff and don’t let you get a good night’s sleep for three years. But, clearly, that's not what Jesus meant, because grown-ups
trying to be cute have the opposite effect. So, we'd best look for other
features and behaviors of little children that we are to emulate in order to
enter the kingdom!
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| Christ Blessing the Children by Cranach the Elder - Detail |
What do children do? Babies
spend a lot of time - all their time - eating, filling diapers, learning and
sleeping. Mostly sleeping. Nice life, but surely He didn't mean
that we should limit ourselves to those activities either. It doesn’t jive with the whole rest of the
Gospel message.
Perhaps you have heard someone wax lyrical about the difference
between childishness and child-likeness. G.K. Chesterton points out that children are filled with wonder
and see God's creation with a sense of magic. This is surely true in some sense, but as Chesterton did not have any actual children, it often strikes parents of these lovable tyrants as a bit of a romantic view.
I only have two children, but you only need to live with one from
its infancy to dispel the notion that they float trough their days awed by the
wonder of creation, in a ray of golden sunlight, emitting the lilting laughter
of delight when the sun comes up on another day, or when they encounter a
beautiful flower. More likely they'll pull the flower apart and attempt
to eat it.
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| Photo of an actual baby, courtesy of her mother, my friend Jenni Callahan |
Little children are demanding! By which I mean
they require a lot of care (feeding, changing, clothing,
making sure they sleep enough, loving, and speaking to so they will learn).
A nursing mother may feel that her infant is literally draining life out of
her! She pours out from her own self and body, part of what she is, to
enable the child become who he or she is designed to be. It doesn't even
matter if she is feeding her child at her breast; she will be drained.
They are also demanding in that they loudly demand this care if we
happen not to meet their current need immediately! They are not patient
creatures. When they do not get what they need at the moment the need
arises, they cry and scream. That feature was put there by God to ensure
their needs are met and that we parents learn to overcome our
self-centeredness. Demanding is in their job description.
Clearly, these little creatures expect us to do
these things. They are not customers, who will say, "Here, here, if
I don't receive better service than this, I shall take my business elsewhere!!" They are children, who look at their parents and simply
expect us to provide for them - because it's what we parents are supposed to do. They
can't get to the fridge on their own legs to satisfy their hunger, so they
simply expect our legs (and hands,
and body) to be at their service. If
anyone else assumed that we existed in their life to serve them like this, it
would be outrageously rude. But when it is a child in our care, our heart
is moved by love and responsibility to get up and do the thing, whether we feel
like it or not.
An expectation like this signifies boundless trust. Babies
don't use question marks. It's never, "Would you mind feeding me,
Mother?" or "Will you please change my diaper when you have a
minute?" It's always simply "I thirst!!!!!" And the
parent, who knows to whom this demand is directed, never has to ask,
"Who me?"
Even older children demonstrate amazing faith in their parents’
love and care. Whether it’s a tantruming
toddler or a back-talking school-age child, in the very midst of rejecting you,
they often come to you for comfort. It
always astonishes me when my child can say, with utmost sincerity and love, at
the end of a day filled with contention, “I love you, Mama.” It is a love and trust that entails
forgiveness of my failings and assumes my forgiveness of hers.
This unabashed trust and confident dependence on one side and
limitless providence and love on the other defines this relationship between
parent and child. The relationship
demands it.
We all know it is a great evil when a parent betrays this
relationship. A betrayal of a parent
toward a young child is more than simply a failure of duty, or a lack of
respect for the dignity of a person. It
is a lie told about God.
Saint Paul tells us in Ephesians 3: 14-15 that parenthood is
derived from God’s fatherhood. This makes
it more clear what it means to turn and become like a child. It lies in our relationship with God, who is
our Father. Our Lord wants us to demand, expect and trust in Him for those
things we need. And He will not fail to provide. He says, “And I tell you, ask and it will be
given you; seek, and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you. . .
. What father among you, if his son asks
for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent? . . . If you then, who
are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the
heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:9-13).
Lest you think that God is there to be our vending machine of
goodies, remember, He did not say, “What father among you, if his son asks for
a bicycle, will give him a serpent?”
Babies demand what is good for them, according to their nature. We must do the same.
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| Photo courtesy of E. Pearce |
He teaches us to become like children in the way He taught the disciples
to pray, saying, “Our Father, who art in heaven . . . give us this day our
daily bread.” (Matt. 6:9-13). Father is who He is to us.
So, turn. Turn and become like little children, whether it's a cranky, colicky baby, a contentedly sleeping one, or Chesterton's wonder-filled tyke. Our heavenly Father is attentive to our needs
with limitless providence and love. Know that He will not abandon you.
St. Augustine said it like this:
“Our Father: at this name love is roused in us . . . and the confidence
of obtaining what we are about to ask . . . What would he not give to his
children who ask, since he has already granted them the gift of being his
children? (CCC 2785)
